best of 2013: 5/10 female characters
Well, yes, I’m angry. You know, I’m getting totally screwed over here. The deal was, if I win the Hunger Games I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But now you want to kill me again. Well, you know what? Fuck that! And fuck everybody that had anything to do with it!
I curl back up on the bloodstained mattress, not cold but feeling so naked with just the paper to cover my tender flesh. Jumping to my death‘s not an option—the window glass must be a foot thick. I can make an excellent noose, but there‘s nothing to hang myself from. It‘s possible I could hoard my pills and then knock myself off with a lethal dose, except that I‘m sure I‘m being watched round the clock. For all I know, I‘m on live television at this very moment while commentators try to analyze what could possibly have motivated me to kill Coin. The surveillance makes almost any suicide attempt impossible. Taking my life is the Capitol‘s privilege. Again.
What I can do is give up. I resolve to lie on the bed without eating, drinking, or taking my medications. I could do it, too. Just die. If it weren‘t for the morphling withdrawal. Not bit by bit like in the hospital in 13, but cold turkey.
"The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind."